Developing my Muslim identity has been an amalgamation of culture, religion, family, friends, education and career. After many years of facing what seemed like conflicting values from different people and experiences, I feel confident in my Muslim identity. This identity may not prescribe to a traditional or obvious definition of Islam, but I have come to celebrate the diversity of Muslims and feel proud to be part of this community.
I grew up in a Muslim household where I learned the practices of the faith at an early age. While I appreciated growing up with praying, fasting, reading the Quran, and going to the mosque, I often clashed with my family because I didn’t agree with ritualistic aspects of Islam. The constant contention drew me to feel resentment toward Islam because it restricted me on a personal and social level. I wasn’t allowed to put on nail polish because it invalidated my prayers. I couldn’t wear shorts to physical education class like the rest of the girls because it was immodest clothing. As I got older, I was told to not date or drink. These rules were conflicting because I still appreciated many of the practices of Islam as they made me feel connected to God, but the smaller aspects that I found restrictive did not align with my beliefs.
Throughout my adolescence and early adulthood, I had many arguments with my family about my actions and decisions that they disagreed with. I often felt guilty for not fitting into the mold of a good Muslim. However, after reading about Islam on my own and meeting Muslims from all types of backgrounds, I was able to break away from seeing Islam in the way I was always told to see it. I learned that it was not about a list of what you can and cannot do. I grew to appreciate the emphasis on being a good person, and learned about why the rules I previously resented were recommended, which was to contribute to building good character. Family and religion created the foundation of my morals and values which I have applied throughout my life. I realized that this was why Islam was always important to me, and that I can continue to believe in this faith even if I didn’t agree with the certain practices. As I have become more open with my family about my lifestyle choices, they no longer hold me to a traditional expectation of what they originally thought a Muslim should be, and we are much closer now because of it. I have also become more open to learning about and practicing Islam as I get older, but at my own pace and time.
After feeling that I had resolved my Muslim identity with my family to the best of my abilities, I continued to face challenges in asserting this part of me with non-Muslims. I have been lucky to always have friends who are from different backgrounds who are understanding about other backgrounds. However, I have come across coworkers who aren’t as well versed on different cultures. Often when I tell coworkers that I'm Muslim, I'm faced with awkward and sometimes incredulous reactions. I have a very common Muslim name, and the fact that people I am around have no ability to recognize that upsets me. I have been immediately faced with questions including: Are you religious? Why don’t you wear a hijab? Are your parents strict? This makes me think that people who don't personally know Muslims have categorized us into a single, limited image. In the most extreme cases, the media has portrayed Muslims as radicals who are unaccepting of Western culture and promote oppression of women. The word “terrorist” is often associated. Unfortunately, unfamiliarity makes images like this stick. I used to feel hesitant about telling people I am Muslim, but now I believe that the more transparent Muslims are about their identity, the more people can have first-hand positive experiences with our community. Now during Ramadan, I try to make a point to tell my coworkers that I am fasting instead of making an excuse for not coming to lunch. Sometimes it is challenging to quickly explain Ramadan to a coworker who is unfamiliar with Islam, but I believe any amount of knowledge that gets spread is beneficial. I hope that people who haven’t crossed paths with many Muslims are able to see that yes, I am Muslim, but I am also just like many other young professionals. Like other prominent monotheistic religions, Muslims come in many forms of believers, and I strive to see this become well recognized.
I have heard both Muslims and non-Muslims, often unintentionally, group Muslims into black and white categories — whether they drink or not, whether they fast or not, wear hijab or not. Don’t define a Muslim as conservative or liberal. Don’t dismiss a Muslim if they don’t practice Islam the way you do. As you are expected to treat any person equally, treat fellow Muslims as one of your own. Create a community with people who identify as Muslim and be open-minded to their experiences. Be proud of not only being a Muslim yourself, but be proud of your Muslim peers and community.
Sana works in public health and is always seeking creative outlets in her free time. She enjoys art, writing, photography and dancing. She also enjoys baking and eating cookies.