What is your name?
-Mohammad
-Ali
-Mohammad Ali
For what purpose do you want to enter the United States of America?
-Temporary visit ;^)
-To use Amazon to purchase household items in bulk
-Visit Dearborn, Michigan
It’s been 12 hours since you last ate. What do you eat first?
-Hotdog
-2 hotdogs
-Medjool date
-5 hotdogs
Who was the first free market philosopher?
-Adam Smith
-Abu Hamid Muhammad ibn Muhammad al-Ghazali
-Ronald Reagan
Which of the following kitchen backsplashes is the most visually pleasing?
How times a week do you pray?
-Between 0 and 35
-0
Choose one:
-Muh-slim
-Mahz-lem
-Moose-limb
-moz-luhm
Which way is Mecca?
-East
-West
-Not sure
Who should the U.S. go to war with next?
-Iran
-Russia
-Israel
-Africa
Violence is:
-Never justified
-Justifiable in certain contexts
Everyone should convert to…
-Metric Units
-Imperial Units
-Islam
Do you have immediate access to firearms?
-No
-Yes
-Contingent upon my admittance into the US
Do you consume extremist propaganda?
-Yes, I have watched PBS
-No way, I only read Breitbart
Ahmed Amer is a satirist and writer in Raleigh, North Carolina. He is the creator of @bad_at_captions on Twitter.